I have hit a wall that I am going to call a quarter life crisis, and I am desperately wanting change with no known way to go about it because I am already spread into too many different directions!
I am a jack of many trades and a master of none, and my list of things I want to add on top seems on going.
There are a couple projects I’d love to just pull the plug on, or at least take in a completely different direction.
I like my job, though it has recently got a bit overwhelming because I am flying solo there now, and I am starting to suffer financially. I don’t want a full time job and lose my freedom to work on personal projects, but I still need more hours than what I work a week, and a bit more than minimum wage…I honestly can’t think of any place in town I’d rather work for though and that is what makes this hard because the owner can’t afford to give me a raise, and we aren’t open any more hours a week. Thankfully the owner is a doll and there is no pressure from her end to do anymore than what I am doing for her already. <3
I have recently had a lot of the Fredericton fashion council stuff dropped on my lap, and I have no interest in handling it all by myself, and I am hoping to sort that out with the president of the council very soon.
I feel pressured to get my license, but because I have been in a indecisive depression for a few months now I just can’t get myself past reading the drivers ed book. I want to get my license but now is not the time I guess. I am trying not to stress myself out any further than I already am.
More recently, my best friend has been convincing Scott and I on buying a house with them and their partner. As enticing as this is, it is hard to want to commit to something like this with all of my other current circumstances. I can’t even afford to buy a car! We went looking at houses yesterday and now I feel everything is just moving too fast…but maybe I am just scared? I know we can afford to pay a mortgage so this pretty much gives us a shoe in to home ownership, and finally not paying into rent that does us no good, but I like the space in the apt building I am in right now, so its hard to see us making such a major change. We view the house again next Tuesday.
My design business has been on a complete stand still because of all things considered above, and my fairy business hasn’t been doing much lately either. I love doing birthday parties but that isn’t what I wanted my fairy business to solely be, and I haven’t been getting much interest for them lately anyway. I need to rework the angles I am going at all my side business stuff!
And then there are the things I dream about, other things I think I’d like to do!
I would love to start a band with my husband, we’ve wanted to for a while. This is one of the reasons moving into a house would be a plus, because right now we can’t even fathom the idea, as we live on the top floor of a “seniors preferred” apartment building.
I am a hula-hooper, and I’ve wondered if I could start a business teaching people to hoop! I know this would mean I would need to take some sort of qualification course, and get waaay more fit. This would take time and money, and much more dedication to my practice, of course.
If you are even reading this, you probably now have a good idea as to why I feel spread so thin, indecisive, depressed and just plain exhausted.
I am also sure I am probably leaving things out!!
Long story short, I am in a rut, and I haven’t been this depressed since I was a teen, I am pretty sure.